How To Eliminate Stress And Anxiety

ELIMINATE

STRESS AND

ANXIETY

FROM

YOUR LIFE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Why are We So Stressed Out?

Blocking Behaviors That Keep Your

Stress Alive

Stress or Anxiety?

Quiz Time!

Panic Attacks

Dealing with Panic Attacks

Calm Yourself with Visualization

Using Music to Beat Stress

Self-Hypnosis for Stress

Stress Management

More Stress Management

Who Ya Gonna Call? Stress Busters!

Just Say “No”!

Take a Break

Relaxing at Work

Conclusion

INTRODUCTION

It seems like you hear it all the time from nearly every

one you know – “I’m SO stressed out!” Pressures abound in

this world today. Those pressures cause stress and anxiety,

and often we are ill-equipped to deal with those stressors

that trigger anxiety and other feelings that can make us

sick. Literally, sick.

The statistics are staggering. One in every eight

Americans age 18-54 suffers from an anxiety disorder. This

totals over 19 million people! Research conducted by the

National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety

disorders are the number one mental health problem among

American women and are second only to alcohol and drug

abuse by men.

Women suffer from anxiety and stress almost twice as

much as men. Anxiety disorders are the most common

mental illness in America, surpassing even depression in

numbers. Anxiety is the most common mental health issue

facing adults over 65 years of age. Anxiety disorders cost

the U.S. $46.6 billion annually. Anxiety sufferers see an

average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed.

Unfortunately, stress and anxiety go hand in hand. In

fact, one of the major symptoms of stress is anxiety. And

stress accounts for 80 percent of all illnesses either directly

or indirectly.

In fact, stress is more dangerous than we thought.

You've probably heard that it can raise your blood pressure,

increasing the likelihood of a stroke in the distant future, but

recently a health insurance brochure claimed that 90 percent

of visits to a primary care physician were stress-related

disorders.

Health Psychology magazine reports that chronic stress

can interfere with the normal function of the body's immune

system. And studies have proven that stressed individuals

have an increased vulnerability to catching an illness and are

more susceptible to allergic, autoimmune, or cardiovascular

diseases.

Doctors agree that during chronic stress, the functions

of the body that are nonessential to survival, such as the

digestive and immune systems, shut down. "This is why

people get sick," he says. "There are also many occurrences

of psychosomatic illness, an illness with an emotional or

psychological side to it."

Furthermore, stress often prompts people to respond

in unhealthy ways such as smoking, drinking alcohol, eating

poorly, or becoming physically inactive. This damages the

body in addition to the wear and tear of the stress itself.

Stress is a part of daily life. It’s how we react to it that

makes all the difference in maintaining our health and well-

being. Pressures occur throughout life and those pressures

cause stress. You need to realize that you will never

completely get rid of stress in your life, but you can learn

coping techniques to turn that stress into a healthier

situation.

When I first got the assignment to write this book, I

immediately thought, “Sure, you can eliminate stress and

anxiety by locking yourself into a room and never talking to

anyone ever again”. But that wouldn’t make a very

informative book, now would it?

I have suffered from anxiety disorders caused by stress

for years. I have learned somewhat how to cope with that

although I’m always learning new things and dealing

mechanisms. So what I’ve done in this book is taken some

of my own experiences and combined them with advice from

experts to give you tools that will help you in stressful

situations.

I’ve also outlined different ways you can face

debilitating anxiety and panic attacks that many people

suffer from. While researching this book, I’ve come across

some amazing information and can’t wait to share it with

you. I’ve learned so much myself, so let’s look at how to

eliminate stress and anxiety from your life!

WHY ARE WE SO STRESSED OUT?

We're living in very trying and difficult times and things

don't seem to be getting any easier. Sometimes life can

seem terribly painful and unfair, yet somehow we manage to

struggle on, day after day, hoping and praying that things

will soon get better.

But day by day the world is becoming a crazier and

more uncertain place to live in, not to mention stressful.

Nothing seems safe anymore. Millions of people are in record

levels of debt. Many are losing their jobs, their homes, their

health and sometimes even their sanity. Worry, depression

and anxiety seem to have become a way of life for way too

many people.

We seem to have entered the Age of Anxiety. In fact,

in 2002, the cover of Time magazine proclaimed this loud

and clear on one of their covers as the featured story in that

issue. The constant stress and uncertainties of living in the

21st century have certainly taken their toll, and as a result

many of us seem to live a life of constant fear and worry.

When the terrorist attacks happened on September 11,

this constant stress and worry seemed to just be magnified.

In fact, many people even now four years later report they

are still scared that something of that magnitude could

happen again – perhaps closer to them.

Turn on the news or open up a newspaper and we are

bombarded with disturbing images and stories. We begin to

wonder if we are safe anywhere. In this, the information

age, never before have we had so much access to so much

data.

The economy is another stressor. Our country is in

debt and so are many Americans. Soaring gas prices,

outrageous housing costs, even the cost of food has sent

many Americans to work in jobs that are unsatisfying and

tedious. They work these jobs because they need a

paycheck. Today, it’s more important to bring home the

bacon rather than work in a dream career.

Having more women in the workplace adds to the

stress. So many women feel the need to be everything to

everyone and that includes a paycheck earner, house

keeper, mom, wife, daughter, and sibling. The only problem

with that is some women just don’t make any time for

themselves thus contributing to their stress levels being at

an all-time high.

Even children can feel the pressure of stress and

anxiety. Teenagers who want to go to college find

themselves pushing themselves during their studies to try

and obtain scholarships so they can attend schools that have

ever increasing tuition costs.

They find themselves having to hold down part-time

jobs on top of all that to earn money for extras that their

parents can no longer afford. Add peer pressure into the

mix and you have a veritable pressure cooker!

Cell phones, internet, palm pilots, blackberries, i-pods

– we are always on the go and always reachable. We don’t

make time to relax and enjoy life any more. Why not? We

certainly should!

We feel pressure to do these things because we think

we HAVE to, not because we WANT to. All too often, it’s

difficult for people to just say “No”. Not saying that one

little word piles up un-needed expectations and obligations

that make us feel anxious.

All of us will experience situations that may cause us to

become stressed or feel anxious. The reasons are too many

to note but can include, buying a property, having guests

stay over (in-laws!), being bullied, exams, looking after

children, managing finances, relationship issues, traveling

etc.

Stress is a ‘normal’ function of everyday life. Only when

it appears to take over our lives does it then become a

problem.

Everyone will have different reasons why a situation

causes them pressure. As a rule it’s usually when we don’t

feel in control of a situation, then we feel its grip tightening

around us causing us to feel worried or ‘stressed’.

If stress is caused by us not feeling in control of a

situation, the answer is to try and reverse this, and regain

that control. The good news is: YOU CAN!

You have everything inside you that you need to

overcome your stress and the accompanying anxiety. The

problem is, often we don’t realize that we are in control

because we feel so out of control at time. But the tools are

there, you just have to use them.

Let’s first look at the barriers we put up that are

preventing us from becoming healthy and getting rid of our

anxiety and stress.

BLOCKING BEHAVIORS KEEPING

YOUR STRESS ALIVE

There are three obsessive behaviors that you are likely

to be engaging in that impeded your healing process and

stop you from enjoying a stress-free life. Recognizing these

barriers can be a great first step toward getting rid of the

problems that go with being too stressed.

The first is obsessive negativity. When you are

obsessively negative, it means that you have a tendency

toward being "negative" about people, places, situations,

and things in your life.

Perhaps you find yourself saying things like "I can't do

this!" or "No one understands!" or "Nothing ever works!", for

example. You may be doing this unconsciously, but

essentially you have what's known as a "sour grapes"

attitude, and it holds you back from knowing what it's like to

view life from a positive lens and enjoy the beauty in

yourself and people around you! There's a whole world out

there for you...with happiness and positive thinking.

Then you have obsessive perfectionism. When you

engage in obsessive perfectionism, you are centered on

trying to do everything "just so" to the point of driving

yourself into an anxious state of being. You may find

yourself making statements such as, "I have to do this right,

or I'll be a failure!" or "If I am not precise, people will be

mad at me!" Again, this behavior may be totally under the

threshold of your awareness, but it interferes greatly with

your ability to enjoy things without feeling "uptight" and

"stressed."

Finally there is obsessive analysis. When you are

obsessed about analyzing things, you find yourself wanting

to re-hash a task or an issue over and over again. For

instance, you might find yourself making statements such

as, "I need to look this over, study it, and know it inside and

out...or else I can't relax!" or "If I relax and let things go

without looking them over repeatedly, things go wrong!"

While analytical thinking is an excellent trait, if it's done

in excess you never get to stop and smell the roses because

you're too busy trying to analyze everything and everyone

around you. Gaining insight into this type of behavior is one

of the most important keys to letting go of stress, and

getting complete power over your anxiety.

If you find yourself engaging in any of the above

"Blocking Behaviors", there are two things you can do to

help yourself. First, ask the people you know, love, and

trust, "Am I negative about things?", "Do I complain a lot?",

and "Am I difficult to be around?"

This may be hard for you to listen to, as the truth

sometimes hurts a great deal. But the insight you will get

from others' assessment of you is invaluable, and you'll

know precisely how others see you. Accept their comments

as helpful info, and know that you will gain amazing insights

from what you hear.

Second, keep a journal to write down and establish

patterns of when you are using "blocking behaviors." Even

if you are not thrilled with the idea of writing, you can make

little entries into a note book or journal each day. The great

part is that you'll begin to see patterns in your behavior that

reveal exactly what you're doing to prevent yourself from

curing your anxiety.

We’ll give you some great stress busting techniques

later in the book, but you need to recognize these blockages

first so you can move into the “healing” stage and conquer

your stress and anxiety.

Many people think that stress and anxiety are the same

thing. This couldn’t be further from the truth!

STRESS OR ANXIETY

Contrary to popular belief, there is a difference

between stress and anxiety. Stress comes from the

pressures we feel in life, as we are pushed by work or any

other task that puts undue pressure on our minds and body,

adrenaline is released, extended stay of the hormone causes

depression, a rise in the blood pressure and other negative

changes and effects.

One of these negative effects is anxiety. With anxiety,

fear overcomes all emotions accompanied by worry and

apprehension, making a person a recluse and a bagful of

jitters. Other symptoms are chest pains, dizziness, and

shortness of breath and panic attacks.

Stress is caused by an existing stress-causing factor or

stressor. Anxiety is stress that continues after that stressor

is gone. Stress can come from any situation or thought that

makes you feel frustrated, angry, nervous, or even anxious.

What is stressful to one person is not necessarily stressful to

another.

Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension or fear and is

almost always accompanied by feelings of impending doom.

The source of this uneasiness is not always known or

recognized, which can add to the distress you feel.

Stress is the way our bodies and minds react to

something which upsets our normal balance in life; an

example of stress is the response we feel when we are

frightened or threatened. During stressful events our adrenal

glands release adrenaline, a hormone which activates our

body's defense mechanisms causing our hearts to pound,

blood pressure to rise, muscles to tense, and the pupils of

our eyes to dilate.

A principal indication of increased stress is an

escalation in your pulse rate; however, a normal pulse rate

doesn't necessarily mean you aren't stressed. Constant

aches and pains, palpitations, anxiety, chronic fatigue,

crying, over or under- eating, frequent infections, and a

decrease in your sexual desire are signs you may notice

which indicate you may be under stress.

Of course, every time we are under stress, we do not

react to such an extreme and we are not always under such

great duress or fear every time we are confronted with a

stressful situation.

Some people are more susceptible than others to

stress; for some, even ordinary daily decisions seem

insurmountable. Deciding what to have for dinner or what to

buy at the store, is a seemingly, monumental dilemma for

them. On the other hand, there are those people, who seem

to thrive under stress by becoming highly productive being

driven by the force of pressure.

Research shows women with children have higher

levels of stress related hormones in their blood than women

without children. Does this mean women without children

don't experience stress? Absolutely not!

It means that women without children may not

experience stress as often or to the same degree which

women with children do. This means for women with

children, it's particularly important to schedule time for

yourself; you will be in a better frame of mind to help your

children and meet the daily challenge of being a parent,

once your stress level is reduced.

Anxiety, on the other hand, is a feeling of unease.

Everybody experiences it when faced with a stressful

situation, for example before an exam or an interview, or

during a worrying time such as illness. It is normal to feel

anxious when facing something difficult or dangerous and

mild anxiety can be a positive and useful experience.

However, for many people, anxiety interferes with

normal life. Excessive anxiety is often associated with other

psychiatric conditions, such as depression. Anxiety is

considered abnormal when it is very prolonged or severe, it

happens in the absence of a stressful event, or it is

interfering with everyday activities such as going to work.

The physical symptoms of anxiety are caused by the

brain sending messages to parts of the body to prepare for

the "fight or flight" response. The heart, lungs and other

parts of the body work faster. The brain also releases stress

hormones, including adrenaline. Common indicators of

excessive anxiety include:

• Diarrhea

• Dry mouth

• Rapid heartbeat or palpitations

• Insomnia

• Irritability or anger

• Inability to concentrate

• Fear of being “crazy”

• Feeling unreal and not in control of your actions

which is called depersonalization

Anxiety can be brought on in many ways. Obviously,

the presence of stress in your life can make you have

anxious thoughts. Many people who suffer from anxiety

disorders occupy their minds with excessive worry. This can

be worry about anything from health matters to job

problems to world issues.

Certain drugs, both recreational and medicinal, can also

lead to symptoms of anxiety due to either side effects or

withdrawal from the drug. Such drugs include caffeine,

alcohol, nicotine, cold remedies, and decongestants,

bronchodilators for asthma, tricyclic antidepressants,

cocaine, amphetamines, diet pills, ADHD medications, and

thyroid medications.

A poor diet can also contribute to stress or anxiety --

for example, low levels of vitamin B12. Performance anxiety

is related to specific situations, like taking a test or making a

presentation in public. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

is a stress disorder that develops after a traumatic event like

war, physical or sexual assault, or a natural disaster.

In very rare cases, a tumor of the adrenal gland

(pheochromocytoma) may be the cause of anxiety. This

happens because of an overproduction of hormones

responsible for the feelings and symptoms of anxiety.

While anxiety may seem a bit scary, what’s even

scarier is that excessive anxiety and stress can lead to

depression. Suffering from depression can be a lifelong

struggle as I well know, but the good news is that all of this

is manageable!

So, let’s take a few little quizzes to see if you are

suffering from too much stress, excessive anxiety, or

depression.

QUIZ TIME!

Before you begin here, let us tell you that we are not

medical professionals. This information has come from

reliable sources and isn’t meant to be a complete diagnostic

tool in any way. These quizzes are simply guidelines to help

you recognize any problems you might have and be able to

effectively deal with those problems.

Because depression can be the most serious of our

topics, let’s start by seeing if you may be depressed. Keep

in mind that everyone has their “blue” days. The thing that

separates clinical depression from simple melancholy is that

the symptoms occur over a period of time. They don’t come

and go, they stay around for awhile and can affect your life

adversely.

Ask yourself the following questions. Answer yes if

you’ve been feeling this way consistently over a period of

two weeks.

1. Do you find yourself constantly sad?

2. Are you un-motivated to do simple things like shower,

clean up the house, or make dinner?

3. Do people tell you you’re overly irritable?

4. Do you have trouble concentrating?

5. Are you feeling isolated from family and friends even

when they are around you?

6. Have you lost interest in your favorite activities?

7. Do you feel hopeless, worthless, or guilty for no reason

at all?

8. Are you always tired and have trouble sleeping?

9. Has your weight fluctuated significantly?

If you can answer “Yes” to five or more of these

questions, you could be suffering from clinical depression. It

is important for you to seek out the help of a medical

professional whether that be a doctor or a therapist. There

are many medications out there that can help with

depression.

I always tried to deny my own depression, but once I

began taking an anti-depressant, I couldn’t believe what a

difference that one pill a day made! It gave me freedom

from the “black hole” I had fallen into and helped me enjoy

life again, so if you think you are depressed, ACT NOW! You

deserve to be happy!

But this book is about stress and anxiety, so let’s see if

you are overly stressed out. Ask yourself the following:

1. Do you worry constantly and cycle with negative self-

talk?

2. Do you have difficulty concentrating?

3. Do you get mad and react easily?

4. Do you have recurring neck or headaches?

5. Do you grind your teeth?

6. Do you frequently feel overwhelmed, anxious or

depressed?

7. Do you feed your stress with unhealthy habits-eating or

drinking excessively, smoking, arguing, or avoiding

yourself and life in other ways?

8. Do small pleasures fail to satisfy you?

9. Do you experience flashes of anger over a minor

problem?

If you can answer “Yes” to most of these questions,

then you do have excessive stress in your life. The good

news is that you’ve bought this book and will learn many

valuable techniques to cope with that stress. But we’ll get

to that later!

Let’s move on to anxiety.

1. Do you experience shortness of breath, heart

palpitation or shaking while at rest?

2. Do you have a fear of losing control or going crazy?

3. Do you avoid social situations because of fear?

4. Do you have fears of specific objects?

5. Do you fear that you will be in a place or situation from

which you cannot escape?

6. Do you feel afraid of leaving your home?

7. Do you have recurrent thoughts or images that refuse

to go away?

8. Do you feel compelled to perform certain activities

repeatedly?

9. Do you persistently relive an upsetting event from the

past?

Answering “Yes” to more than four of these questions

can indicate an anxiety disorder.

Suffering from depression, too much stress, or

excessive anxiety can endanger your overall health and it’s

time to take steps to overcome this – RIGHT NOW!

Stress and anxiety affects many factors in our body not

only in our mental state. Cancer and other deadly diseases

are related to stress and anxiety because of the changes in

the chemical composition in our body due to stress and

anxiety.

You don’t have to be a victim of stress and anxiety, its

just all about discipline and having a proper schedule. Not

taking in anything you cannot handle will be a lot of help.

Learn your limitations and stick to it. Do not over exert

yourself. Just try to go over the border an inch at a time.

You can lead a productive successful and fulfilling life

and career without the need to endanger your health. If not,

you are not only killing yourself, you are also sending your

family and friends and all the people around you away.

Stress is a natural part of life. It can be both physical

and mental and much of it can come from everyday

pressures. Everyone handles stress differently, some better

than others.

Left unchecked, however, stress can cause physical,

emotional, and behavioral disorders which can affect your

health, vitality, and peace-of-mind, as well as personal and

professional relationships.

As we’ve said, stress and anxiety can lead to panic

attacks. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that

having a panic attack can be a serious situation. Let’s

explore that subject a little more.

PANIC ATTACKS

One of the unfortunate outcomes from suffering from

excessive stress and anxiety is a physical reaction of your

body to the situation. It’s like your body is telling you that

you need to rest for a moment. Except when you’re having

a panic attack, it’s anything BUT restful.

I had my first panic attack while my husband and I

were driving home from a St. Louis Rams football game. We

were about 30 miles from our home when I began to feel a

bit “off”. I was having trouble breathing, my body felt

disconnected, and my heart was beating at what seemed

like 90 miles an hour.

I pulled the van off to the side of the highway and got

out hoping to “walk it off”. But it didn’t work. No matter

what I tried, I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like I was

dying. I remember saying over and over again, “Please not

now. I’m not ready.” It was horrifying.

The good news is that I wasn’t dying – obviously! But

that night began a terrible journey for me into how my body

reacted to excessive stress and anxiety. Since then, I have

had many panic attacks, but I also learned how to recognize

that one might be coming on and how to control it. I’m not

always able to get hold of it completely and will occasionally

fall into full-blown panic mode, but it’s a lot better than it

was.

So, let’s look at the signs that you might be having a

panic attack. The following list gives tell-tale warning signs

of an oncoming panic attack.

•

Palpitations

•

A pounding heart, or an accelerated heart rate

•

Sweating

•

Trembling or shaking

•

Shortness of breath

•

A choking sensation

•

Chest pain or discomfort

• Nausea or stomach cramps

•

De-realization (a feeling of unreality)

• Fear of losing control or going crazy

•

Fear of dying

•

Numbness or a tingling sensation in your face and

limbs

• Chills or hot flashes

You would be surprised at how many people go to the

hospital emergency room completely sure that they’re

having a heart attack only to find out that it’s a panic attack.

They’re that intense!

It’s very difficult for your loved ones to imagine or even

understand what you are going through when you have a

panic attack. They may lose patience with you, tell you to

“get over it”, or think you’re faking. It may help if you show

them the following scenario.

You are standing in line at the grocery store. It’s been

a long wait but there’s only one customer to go before you

make it to the cashier. Wait, what was that?

An unpleasant feeling forms in your throat, your chest

feels tighter, now a sudden shortness of breath, and what do

you know—your heart skips a beat. “Please, God, not here.”

You make a quick scan of the territory—is it

threatening? Four unfriendly faces are behind you and one

person is in front. Pins and needles seem to prick you

through your left arm, you feel slightly dizzy, and then the

explosion of fear as you dread the worst. You are about to

have a panic attack.

There is no doubt in your mind now that this is going to

be a big one. Okay, time for you to focus. You know how to

deal with this – at least you hope you do! Start breathing

deeply - in through the nose, out through the mouth.

Think relaxing thoughts, and again, while breathing in,

think “Relax,” and then breathe out. But it doesn’t seem to

be having any positive effect; in fact, just concentrating on

breathing is making you feel self-conscious and more

uptight.

Maybe if you just try to relax your muscles. Tense both

shoulders, hold for 10 seconds, then release. Try it again.

Nope, still no difference. The anxiety is getting worse and

the very fact that you are out of coping techniques worsens

your panic. If only you were surrounded by your family, or a

close friend were beside you so you could feel more

confident in dealing with this situation.

Now, the adrenaline is really pumping through your

system, your body is tingling with uncomfortable sensations,

and now the dreaded feeling of losing complete control

engulfs your emotions. No one around you has any idea of

the sheer terror you are experiencing. For them, it’s just a

regular day and another frustratingly slow line at the grocery

store.

You realize you are out of options. It’s time to run.

You excuse yourself from the line looking embarrassed as it

is now that it is your turn to pay. The cashier is looking

bewildered as you leave your shopping behind and stroll

towards the door.

There is no time for excuses—you need to be alone.

You leave the supermarket and get into your car to ride it

out alone. You wonder whether or not this one was the big

one. The one you fear will push you over the edge mentally

and physically. Ten minutes later the panic subsides. It’s

only 11:00 in the morning, how in the world can you make it

through the rest of your day?

If you suffer from panic or anxiety attacks, the above

scenario probably sounds very familiar. It may have even

induced feelings of anxiety and panic just reading it. In fact,

it was difficult for me just to write it!

The particular situations that trigger your panic and

anxiety may differ. Maybe the bodily sensations are a little

different. What’s important to realize is that panic attacks

are very real to the people who are having them and they

should never be pushed off to the side.

I remember one evening at home when I was by

myself watching one of my favorite television programs. I

thought I was in a safe place. There was no obvious trigger

and I felt completely relaxed. Out of nowhere, I began

having symptoms of a panic attack. The four walls of my

living room were closing in around me. I couldn’t breathe

and felt like I was dying.

I stepped out on my front porch for some fresh air and

began deep breathing exercises. The symptoms eventually

went away, but it left me wondering why exactly I had that

attack. There was no obvious reason, no stressful situation,

and no indicator that a panic attack might be impending.

That’s the strange thing about panic. Sometimes your

mind can play tricks on you. Even when you think you’re in

no danger of having a panic attack, your brain might be

feeling differently. That’s the scary part. The good part is

that there are ways you can combat panic attacks and cope

much better when you find yourself in that situation.

DEALING WITH PANIC ATTACKS

If you have panic attacks, it may help to comfort you

that you are not alone! You’re not even one in a million. In

America, it is estimated that almost 5% of the population

suffer from some form of anxiety disorder.

For some, it may be the infrequent panic attacks that

only crop up in particular situations-like when having to

speak in front of others, while, for other people, it can be so

frequent and recurring that it inhibits them from leaving

their home. Frequent panic attacks often develop into what

medical physicians refer to as an “anxiety disorder.”

There are many ways of coping with an anxiety

disorder. Some may not work for you, but others just

might. It helps to know some of the most common coping

techniques for dealing with panic attacks when they begin.

Your first step is to recognize when a panic attack is

about to begin. When you have enough of them, you start

to really pay attention to the tingling sensation, the

shortness of breath, and the disconnection from the real life

around you.

Many people I talk to wonder what that disconnection is

like. They have a hard time understanding it. Those of us

who have panic attacks are all too familiar with it. It’s like

you can look at a solid object and see that it is there. You

know it’s there, but a part of your mind doubts that it really

IS there.

You may find yourself reaching out to touch that object

just to be sure. You feel like you’re not a part of the world

around you. It’s as if you are just a spectator in your own

life with no control over anything around you.

Believe me, this is a horrible feeling.

So how do you start trying to combat your panic

attacks? What if I told you the trick to ending panic and

anxiety attacks is to WANT to have one. That sounds

strange, even contradictory, doesn’t it? But the want really

does help push it away.

Does this mean that you should be able to bring on a

panic attack at this very moment? Absolutely not! What it

means is that when you are afraid of something – in this

case a panic attack – it will more than likely appear and

wreak havoc. When you stand up to the attack, your

chances of fending it off are much greater.

If you resist a situation out of fear, the fear around that

issue will persist. How do you stop resisting–you move

directly into it, into the path of the anxiety, and by doing so

it cannot persist.

In essence what this means is that if you daily

voluntarily seek to have a panic attack, you cannot have

one. Try in this very moment to have a panic attack and I

will guarantee you cannot. You may not realize it but you

have always decided to panic. You make the choice by

saying this is beyond my control whether it be consciously or

sub-consciously.

Another way to appreciate this is to imagine having a

panic attack as like standing on a cliff's edge. The anxiety

seemingly pushes you closer to falling over the edge. To be

rid of the fear you must metaphorically jump. You must

jump off the cliff edge and into the anxiety and fear and all

the things that you fear most.

How do you jump? You jump by wanting to have a

panic attack. You go about your day asking for anxiety and

panic attacks to appear.

Your real safety is the fact that a panic attack will never

harm you. That is a medical fact. You are safe, the

sensations are wild but no harm will come to you. Your heart

is racing but no harm will come to you. The jump becomes

nothing more than a two foot drop! It’s perfectly safe.

Anxiety causes an imbalance in your life whereby all of

the mental worry creates a top-heavy sensation. All of your

focus is moved from the center of your body to the head.

Schools of meditation often like to demonstrate an example

of this top-heavy imbalance by showing how easily the body

can lose its sense of center.

The key to overcoming panic attacks is to relax. That’s

easy to say but difficult to do. A good way to do this is to

concentrate on your breathing making sure it is slow and

steady. One of the first signs of a panic attack is difficulty

breathing, and you may find yourself panting to catch a

breath. When you focus on making those breaths even,

your heart rate will slow down and the panic will subside.

Breathing more slowly and deeply has a calming effect.

A good way to breathe easier is to let all the air out of your

lungs. This forces your lungs to reach for a deeper breath

next time. Continue to focus on your out-breath, letting all

the air out of your lungs and soon you'll find your breathing

is deeper and you feel calmer.

Ideally, you want to take the focus off the fact that you

are having a panic attack. Try to press your feet, one at a

time, into the ground. Feel how connected and rooted they

are to the ground.

An even better way is to lie down with your bottom

near a wall. Place your feet against the wall (your knees are

bent) and press your feet one at a time into the wall. If you

can breathe in as you press your foot against the wall, and

breathe out as you release it, it will be more effective. You

should alternate between your feet. Do this for 10 - 15

minutes or until the panic subsides.

Use all of your senses to take full notice of what you

see, hear, feel, and smell in your environment. This will help

you to remain present. Panic is generally associated with

remembering upsetting events from the past or anticipating

something upsetting in the future. Anything that helps keep

you focused in the present will be calming. Try holding a

pet; looking around your room and noticing the colors,

textures, and shapes; listening closely to the sounds you

hear; call a friend; or smell the smells that are near you.

Many people strongly advocate aromatherapy to deal

with panic and anxiety. Lavender can have an especially

calming and soothing effect when you smell it. You can find

essential oil of lavender at many stores. Keep it handy and

take a sniff when you start feeling anxious.

Try putting a few drops of lavender essence oil into

some oil (olive or grape seed oil will do) and rub on your

body. Keep a prepared mixture in a dark glass bottle for

when you need it. You can even prepare several bottles,

with a small one to carry with you.

Other essential oils known to help panic and panic

attacks are helichrysum, frankincense, and marjoram. Smell

each of them, and use what smells best to you, or a

combination of your favorite oils mixed in olive or grape

seed oil.

You may want to prepare yourself BEFORE a panic

attack happens. When you're not in a panicked state, make

a list of the things that you're afraid will happen. Then write

out calming things that tell you the opposite of your fears.

Then you can repeat these things to yourself when the panic

starts to come.

Prepare a list of things to do in case of panicked

feelings, and it will be ready for you when you need it. Fill it

with lots of soothing messages and ideas of calming things

to do. I find this to be a very helpful tool and am never

without my small notebook that has these positive

affirmations in it.

Panic can be a very scary thing to go through,

especially if you're alone. Preparing for when the panic

comes can really help reduce the panic, and even sometimes

help to prevent it.

Another great tool to combating anxiety and stress is to

use visualization.

CALM YOURSELF WITH

VISUALIZATION

The purpose of visualization is to enable you to quickly

clear mental stress, tension, and anxious thinking. The

visualization can be used when feeling stressed and is

particularly useful when your mind is racing with fearful,

anxious thinking.

This visualization process, when practiced frequently, is

very effective for eliminating deep-seated mental anxieties

or intrusive thoughts. To gain maximum benefit, the

exercise must be carried out for longer then 10 minutes at a

time, as anything shorter will not bring noticeable results.

There is no right or wrong way to carry out the

visualization. Be intuitive with it and do not feel you are

unable to carry it out if you feel you are not very good at

seeing mental imagery. As long as your attention is on the

exercise, you will gain benefit.

It is best to do this exercise in a quiet place where you

won’t be disturbed, and then when you are more practiced

you will be able to get the same positive results in a busier

environment such as the workplace. You should notice a

calming effect on your state of mind along with a sensation

of mental release and relaxation.

Either sitting or standing, close your eyes and move

your attention to your breath. To become aware of your

breathing, place one hand on your upper chest and one on

your stomach. Take a breath and let your stomach swell

forward as you breathe in and fall back gently as you

breathe out. Take the same depth of breath each time and

try to get a steady rhythm going.

Your hand on your chest should have little or no

movement. Again, try to take the same depth of breath each

time you breathe in. This is called Diaphragmatic Breathing.

When you feel comfortable with this technique, try to

slow your breathing rate down by instituting a short pause

after you have breathed out and before you breathe in

again. Initially, it may feel as though you are not getting

enough air in, but with regular practice this slower rate will

soon start to feel comfortable.

It is often helpful to develop a cycle where you count to

three when you breathe in, pause, and then count to three

when you breathe out (or 2, or 4—whatever is comfortable

for you). This will also help you focus on your breathing

without any other thoughts coming into your mind.

If you are aware of other thoughts entering your mind,

just let them go and bring your attention back to counting

and breathing. Continue doing this for a few minutes. (If you

practice this, you will begin to strengthen the Diaphragmatic

Muscle, and it will start to work normally—leaving you with a

nice relaxed feeling all the time.)

Now move your attention to your feet. Try to really feel

your feet. See if you can feel each toe. Picture the base of

your feet and visualize roots growing slowly out through

your soles and down into the earth. The roots are growing

with quickening pace and are reaching deep into the soil of

the earth. You are now rooted firmly to the earth and feel

stable like a large oak or redwood tree.

Stay with this feeling of grounded safety and security

for a few moments. Once you have created a strong feeling

or impression of being grounded like a tree, visualize a cloud

of bright light forming way above you. A bolt of lightning

from the luminous cloud hits the crown of your head, and

that ignites a band of bright white light descending slowly

from your head all the way down your body, over your legs,

and out past your toes.

As the band of light passes over you, feel it clearing

your mental state. It is illuminating your mind and clearing

any disturbing or stressful thoughts that you may have been

thinking about. Repeat this image four or five times until you

feel a sense of clearing and release from any anxious

thinking.

In finishing, see yourself standing under a large,

luminescent waterfall. The water is radiant and bubbling

with vitality and life. As you stand under the waterfall, you

can feel the water run over every inch of your body,

soothing you and instilling within you a sense of deep calm.

Try to taste the water. Open your mouth and let it run

into your mouth, refreshing you. Hear it as it bounces off the

ground around you. The water is life itself and it is washing

away stress and worry from your mind and body. After a

moment, open your eyes.

Try to use all of your senses when carrying out the

visualization. To make the pictures in your mind as real as

possible, use your senses of touch, taste, and hearing. Feel

the water trickle down your body; hear the sound it makes

as it splashes over you.

The more realistic the imagined scenarios, the more

benefit you will gain. Many people report very beneficial and

soothing results from using these simple visualizations

frequently. The mind is much like a muscle in that, in order

to relax, it needs to regularly release what it is holding onto.

You can use any situation or location that will help calm

you. We liken this to “finding your happy place”. Maybe

you feel relaxed in a swimming pool or on the beach.

Imagine yourself there. Just make sure wherever you go in

your mind is a place where you can be calm and rested.

By visualizing the different situations, you are allowing

your mind to release. It is like sending a message to your

brain that when you close your eyes and begin this process

it is time for letting go of anything that it has been mentally

holding onto, including anxious thinking.

In order to train your mind how to let go of the stress,

it is important to practice this daily. With practice, you can

learn to release all stress within minutes of starting the

exercise. Your daily practice should take place before going

to bed, as that will enable you to sleep more soundly.

Many people do not do these visualizations in the

bedroom but some other room before going to bed. That

way, when they enter the bedroom and close the door, they

are leaving the mental stress and anxious thinking behind

them. Just be sure you have the opportunity to totally

concentrate on your mental images.

Visualization as a tool for dealing with mental stress is

very effective. If such visualization is carried out properly,

you can reach a deep feeling of inner calm. This technique

probably will not work in helping to end an anxiety attack,

but it can help that attack from beginning. It is a very

powerful support tool for ridding yourself of general anxiety

sensations.

With practice, you find you go days without having

anxious thinking interrupt your life, and importantly, this

significantly reduces the level of general anxiety you feel.

Visualization is simply a tool you can use to overcome

anxious thoughts and feelings. Let’s look at various ways

that you can combat excessive stress – beginning with

music.

USING MUSIC TO BEAT STRESS

Listening to music does wonder to alleviate stress.

Everyone has different tastes in music. We should listen to

the music that makes us feel comfortable. Sitting down and

forcing yourself to listen to relaxation music that you don't

like may create stress, not alleviate it. Music is a significant

mood-changer and reliever of stress, working on many

levels at once.

The entire human energetic system is extremely

influenced by sounds, the physical body and chakra centers

respond specifically to certain tones and frequencies. Special

consideration should be given to the positive effects of one

actually playing or creating music themselves.

Among the first stress-fighting changes that take place

when we hear a tune is an increase in deep breathing. The

body's production of serotonin also accelerates.

Playing music in the background while we are working,

seemingly unaware of the music itself, has been found to

reduce the stress of the workplace. That’s why so many

retail places play music while you shop – to take your mind

off the high prices!

Music was found to reduce heart rates and to promote

higher body temperature - an indication of the onset of

relaxation. Combining music with relaxation therapy was

more effective than doing relaxation therapy alone.

Many experts suggest that it is the rhythm of the music

or the beat that has the calming effect on us although we

may not be very conscious about it. They point out that

when we were a baby in our mother's womb, we probably

were influenced by the heart beat of our mother. We

respond to the soothing music at later stages in life, perhaps

associating it with the safe, relaxing, protective environment

provided by our mother.

Music can be one of the most soothing or nerve

wracking experiences available. Choosing what will work for

any individual is difficult, most will choose something they

'like' instead of what might be beneficial.

In doing extensive research on what any given piece of

music produces in the physiological response system many

unexpected things were found. Many of the so-called

meditation and relaxation recordings actually produced

adverse EEG patterns, just as bad as Hard Rock and Heavy

Metal.

The surprising thing was many selections of Celtic,

Native American as well as various music containing loud

drums or flute were extremely soothing. The most profound

finding was any music performed live and even at

moderately loud volumes even if it was somewhat discordant

had very a beneficial response.

As we mentioned before, there is not a single music

that is good for everyone. People have different tastes. It is

important that you like the music being played. I recently

picked up a rest and relaxation CD at Wal-Mart that has

done wonders for me. It has the sounds of the ocean in the

background while beautiful piano music plays. It’s very

soothing.

One note here, it’s probably not a good idea to play

certain types of ballads or songs that remind you of a sad

time in your life when you’re trying to de-stress. The reason

is obvious. You’re trying to relax and wash away the

anxious thoughts. The last thing that you need is for a sad

song to bring back memories you don’t need anyway.

Here are some general guidelines to follow when using

music to de-stress.

•

To wash away stress, try taking a 20-minute

"sound bath." Put some relaxing music on your

stereo, and then lie in a comfortable position on a

couch or on the floor near the speakers. For a

deeper experience, you can wear headphones to

focus your attention and to avoid distraction.

•

Choose music with a slow rhythm - slower than

the natural heart beat which is about 72 beats per

minute. Music that has repeating or cyclical

pattern is found to be effective in most people.

• As the music plays, allow it to wash over you,

rinsing off the stress from the day. Focus on your

breathing, letting it deepen, slow and become

regular. Concentrate on the silence between the

notes in the music; this keeps you from analyzing

the music and makes relaxation more complete.

• If you need stimulation after a day of work, go for

a faster music rather than slow calming music.

Turn up the volume and DANCE! It doesn’t matter

if you can actually dance or not. Just move along

with the music and do what feels good. You’ll be

shocked at the release you can feel!

• When going gets tough, go for a music you are

familiar with - such as a childhood favorite or

favorite oldies. Familiarity often breeds calmness.

• Take walks with your favorite music playing on the

walkman. Inhale and exhale in tune with the

music. Let the music takes you. This is a great

stress reliever by combining exercise (brisk walk),

imagery and music.

• Listening to the sounds of nature, such as ocean

waves or the calm of a deep forest, can reduce

stress. Try taking a 15- to 20-minute walk if

you're near the seashore or a quiet patch of

woods. If not, you can buy tapes of these sounds

in many music stores. This has been very calming

for me – you should try it too!

There’s another great relaxation technique that I have

found in coping with my own anxiety problems: self-

hypnosis.

SELF-HYPNOSIS FOR STRESS

A few weeks ago, I was feeling particularly

overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. It seemed like

anything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I felt like I was

spinning out of control.

I happened to be writing a book on yoga and

meditation at the time and came across a website that

offered a downloadable mp3 hypnotic relaxation session. It

cost me about $20 and it was the best $20 I have ever

spent!

There are plenty of places on the internet where you

can get these downloadable sessions for a small fee.

However, you can also practice self-hypnosis on your own.

You first need to find a quiet place where you can fully

relax and listen to your inner voice. You shouldn’t TRY to

make something happen. Let your mind listen and relax. A

large part of achieving that hypnotic state is to allow it to

happen naturally.

Also, don’t watch for certain signs or signals that you

might be in a hypnotic state. We can guarantee that if you

look for these signs, you won’t be able to fully relax and gain

the benefits of self-hypnosis.

There are lots of different ways to experience hypnosis.

No two people will have exactly the same experience. In

one respect, though, everyone has the same experience:

the hypnotic state is always pleasant! There are no "bad

trips" in hypnosis. Keep in mind that self-hypnosis is a

skill, and that you will continue to get better at it and, as

you do, it becomes ever more powerful.

It's a good idea to set up a schedule of practice,

allowing yourself anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes,

depending on how busy you are and how much time you

have to spend at it. Practice during the best part of your

day if you can and at a time when you are least likely to be

disturbed by others.

Most people find it best to practice lying down, in a

comfortable position, with as few distractions as possible.

If you are bothered by noise while you practice you can try

to mask out the noise with some other source of sound.

You can try stereo music in the background, or white

noise if you like. If like most people you don't have a white

noise generator, try tuning a radio receiver between

stations. The static you get when you do that is similar to

white noise. However this takes an older or cheaper FM

receiver without a noise suppressor. Sometimes AM tuners

can be used for this. This should just be in the background

and not too loud to be distracting.

The basic divisions of a hypnotic induction are

relaxation, deepening, suggestion application, and

termination .

1. Relaxation

Your first job in the hypnotic induction is to slow the

juices down and get yourself relaxed. But don't try to force

your mind to relax (whatever that means)! If you get

yourself physically relaxed, your mind will follow.

Relaxation – really deep relaxation – is an ability that

most people have either lost or never developed. Some

people can do it quite easily, though. They just let go of

their tensions and let every part of their body become limp

and relaxed. If you are one of these people, begin your

self-hypnosis practice by getting nicely relaxed. Take your

time. This is not something you want to rush.

The time involved for the relaxation phase of your self-

hypnosis induction can vary from half an hour to just a few

seconds. It is an important part of the induction and

should not be slighted. As you get better and your skill

increases you will recognize deeply relaxed states, and you

will be able to achieve them in a surprisingly short time.

But as a beginner, take your time. It will be time well

spent.

A very popular method of deep relaxation is the

Jacobson Progressive Relaxation procedure. This involves

tensing each of the major muscle groups of your body

(foot and lower leg on each side, upper leg and hip,

abdomen, etc.). Tense the muscle group for a few

seconds, then let go.

2. Deepening Procedures

Once you have completed the relaxation phase of your

self-hypnosis induction procedure, you can begin to

deepen the relaxed state. At some time between the deep

relaxation and the deepening procedures you will move

into a hypnotic state. You probably won't know it,

especially as a beginner, but it will happen sooner or later.

One of the first hurdles a beginner must get over is

the compulsion to "watch for it." That is, you will keep

waiting for hypnosis to happen, for some change in your

awareness or the way you feel that will say to you, "You're

hypnotized."

Watching for hypnosis will definitely get in your way if

you don't get it out of your mind. Going into a hypnotic

state is, in this respect, similar to going to sleep. If you try

to catch yourself going to sleep – if you try to be aware of

the precise instant in which you actually go to sleep – you

are much less likely to go to sleep. "Watching" keeps you

awake.

In this same way you will not know when you go into a

hypnotic state (but that won't be because you lost

consciousness – you won't). Later, after you have been

practicing regularly for a few weeks or a month or two,

you'll be much more familiar with yourself and how it feels

to be hypnotized.

Does it take everyone weeks or even months to get

into a good hypnotic state? Definitely not. Some people

have an amazing experience the very first time they try it.

Others might practice for several days, noticing nothing,

then out of the blue they have one of those great induction

sessions in which they know something stupendously good

happened. But if you happen not to be one of these

people, don't worry about it. Just keep practicing and you

will eventually get there.

One of the most popular deepening procedures is the

count-down technique. Hollywood also likes this one. That

is why you see it in so many movies. That and the

swinging watch.

To use the count-down technique you simply start

counting downward from, say, 20 (or 100, or whatever).

Adjust the countdown number to whatever feels right to

you after you have practiced a few times. Imagine that you

are drifting deeper with each count. Other images and

thoughts will probably intrude themselves as you count.

That is natural. Just gently brush them aside, continuing

with your counting.

The speed with which you count down should be

natural; not too fast, not too slow. For most people this

means counting at a rate of about one count for each two

or three seconds. Do it at a rate that feels comfortable and

relaxed to you. Some people like to tie the count with their

breathing. As they drift deeper their breathing slows down,

so their counting also slows down.

Don't count out loud, just think your way down the

count. You want to avoid as much physical involvement

and movement as possible.

3. Suggestion Application in self-hypnosis

Once you have reached the end of your deepening

procedure you are ready to apply suggestions. What you

have done during the relaxation and deepening procedures

is increase your suggestibility. That is, you have opened up

your subconscious mind at least a little bit to receive your

suggestions. This works because of the particular, and

peculiar, characteristics of the subconscious part of your

mind.

The most common and easiest way to apply

suggestions is to have them worked out ahead of time,

properly prepared and worded, and memorized. It should

not be too difficult to remember them because they should

be rather short and you are the one who composed them.

If you have them ready and remembered, you can simply

think your way through them at this point.

Dialogue, or more properly monologue, is also okay.

You just talk ("think" to keep your effort to a minimum) to

yourself about what it is you want to do, be, become,

whatever.

Don't say "you." You are thinking to yourself, so use

the first person personal pronoun "I." Some suggestions

can be succinctly stated in a somewhat more formal sort of

way, like, "I am eating less and becoming more slender

every day."

Elaborated suggestions are generally wordier and more

of an ad lib: "Food is becoming less important to me every

day and I am filling my time with more important and

meaningful pursuits than eating. It is getting easier and

easier to pass up desserts and other fattening foods . . ."

and so on.

Generally speaking, the most effective kind of

suggestion is image suggestion. Image suggestions usually

do not use language at all. You can liken this to seeing

yourself in a calm, relaxed state while in the middle of a

chaotic situation. Actually see yourself in your mind’s eye.

Although people sometimes see immediate results from

their suggestions, it is more likely to take a little time for

them to kick in. So don't be impatient. On the other hand,

if you have not begun to see some results within, say, a

couple of weeks, you need to change your suggestions.

4. Termination

Once you have finished applying suggestions you are

through with your induction and you can terminate your

session. You could just open your eyes, get up and go

about your business, but that is not a good idea.

You should formally identify the end of every session.

By doing this you provide a clear boundary between the

hypnotic state and your ordinary conscious awareness. A

clear termination also prevents your self-hypnosis practice

session from turning into a nap. If you want to take a nap,

take a nap. But don't do it in a way that sleeping becomes

associated with self-hypnosis practice.

If you are practicing at bedtime and don't care if you

go on to sleep, that is okay. But still draw the line in your

mind to indicate the end of your self-hypnosis session.

To terminate the session, think to yourself that you are

going to be fully awake and alert after you count up to,

say, three.

"One, I'm beginning to come out of it, moving toward a

waking state. Two, I'm becoming more alert, getting ready

to wake up. Three, I'm completely awake." Something like

that.

Self-hypnosis can work wonders when it is practiced on

a regular basis. You’d be amazingly surprised at the level

of relaxation you can get to. It’s one of the best things I

ever did for myself!

Now we should move on to stress management

techniques in general. This could be a long chapter, but a

very, very helpful one!

STRESS MANAGEMENT

As we’ve said before, stress is a part of life. There’s no

getting away from it. In fact, some stress is good stress.

You may not believe that, but sometimes stress can

motivate us to do things we may not normally do in a

relaxed state. Stress can make us brave enough to go

forward when normally we might hesitate.

We have to be resilient in order to effectively cope with

stress and help it enhance our life instead of control it. How

do you get strong and resilient? By learning how to take

control of your stress and make it work FOR you instead of

AGAINST you.

Recognizing stress symptoms can be a positive

influence in that we're compelled to take action – and the

sooner the better. It's not always easy to discern why you

have the stress in each situation but some of the more

common events that trigger those emotions are the death of

a loved one, the birth of a child, a job promotion, or a new

relationship. We experience stress as we readjust our lives.

Your body is asking for your help when you feel these stress

symptoms.

We’re going to give you many suggestions in this

chapter. Not all of them will work for you, but we’re willing

to bet that some of them will.

There are three major approaches to manage stress.

The first is the action-oriented approach. In this method, the

problems that cause stress are identified and necessary

changes are made for a stress free life.

The next approach is emotionally oriented and in it, the

person overcomes stress by giving a different color to the

experience that caused stress. The situation, which causes

stress, is seen humorously or from a different angle.

I especially advocate this approach to stress

management. Sometimes if you don’t laugh at a situation,

you’ll cry – uncontrollably. That’s no solution. So learn to

see the humor instead of the doom.

The third way is acceptance-oriented approach. This

approach focuses on surviving the stress caused due to

some problem in the past.

The first stress management tip is to understand the

root cause of your stress. No one understands your problem

better than you do. A few minutes spend to recognize your

true feelings can completely change the situation.

During this process, identify what triggered the stress.

If someone close to your heart is nearby share it with the

person. If you are overstressed and feel you are going to

collapse, take a deep breath and count till ten. This pumps

extra oxygen into your system and rejuvenates the entire

body.

When under severe stress meditate for a moment and

pull out of the current situation for a little while. Stand up

from your current position and walk. Stretch yourself. Soon

you will find that the stress has lessened.

This is because you have relaxed now and relaxation is

the best medicine for stress. Smiling is yet another way of

stress management. If you are at the work place, just stand

up and smile at your colleague in the far corner. You will see

a change in your mood. Learn some simple yoga or

mediation techniques.

You can also invent your own stress management tips.

The basic idea is to identify the cause of stress and to pull

out from it for a moment and then deal with it. Taking a

short walk and looking at objects in nature is another stress

reliever. Drinking a glass of water or playing small games

are simple stress management techniques. The whole idea is

change the focus of attention and when you return to the

problem, it does not look as monstrous as you felt before.

Here are five quick steps you can take toward relieving

stress:

1. Don’t just sit there. Move! According to many

psychologists, motion creates emotion. You might

notice that when you are idle, it’s easier to become

depressed. Your heart rate slows down, less oxygen

travels to your brain, and you are slumped somewhere

in a chair blocking air from reaching your lungs.

I challenge you right now, regardless of how you are

feeling, to get up and walk around at a fast tempo.

Maybe you might want to go to an empty room and

jump up and down a little bit. It may sound silly but the

results speak for themselves. Try it now for a few

minutes. It works like magic.

Exercise can be a great stress buster. People with

anxiety disorders might worry that aerobic exercise

could bring on a panic attack. After all, when you

exercise, your heart rate goes up, you begin to sweat,

and your breathing becomes heavier.

Don’t panic – it’s not an attack! Tell yourself this over

and over while you’re exercising. Realize that there’s a

big difference between the physical side of exercise and

what happens when you exercise.

2. Smell the roses. How do you smell the roses? How

about investing some money to go on that one trip

you’ve been dreaming about? Visit a country with lots

of exotic places to jolt your imagination and spur your

creativity. You need to detach from your daily activities

and venture a little bit.

3. Help others cope with their problems. It is very

therapeutic when you engross yourself in helping

others. You will be surprised how many people’s

problems are worse than those you may be facing. You

can offer others assistance in countless ways. Don’t

curl up in your bed and let depression and stress take

hold of you.

Get out and help somebody. But be careful. Don’t get

caught up in other people’s problems in an attempt to

forget about your own.

I am constantly being called by friends and family when

they want to vent or get advice. I joke and tell them

“Don’t call the ‘crazy’ person for advice!” But there are

times that I find myself worrying about the ones who

call me and I get caught up in what they’re going

through. This just gives me more stress than I already

have and I find that I have to step away and re-assess

myself and my priorities.

I’m now to the point where I can tell them that I just

can’t deal with it right now and to call back later.

Sometimes, they get upset, but more often than not,

they understand. But I’ve learned not to get too upset

about their reactions. If it won’t matter in a week, it

should matter right now.

4. Laugh a little. By now you’ve heard that laughter is a

good internal medicine. It relieves tension and loosens

the muscles. It causes blood to flow to the heart and

brain. More importantly, laughter releases a chemical

that rids the body of pains.

Every day, researchers discover new benefits of

laughter. Let me ask you this question: “Can you use a

good dose of belly-shaking laughter every now and

then?” Of course you can. What you are waiting for? Go

a comedy club or rent some funny movies.

5. Wear your knees out. If there were one sustainable

remedy I could offer you when the going gets tough, it

would be prayer. Many people, depending on their

faith, might call it meditation. It doesn’t matter to me

what you call it, as long as you have a place to run to.

There you have a few quick fixes when you’re feeling

stressed. Want more? No problem!

MORE STRESS MANAGEMENT

6. Make stress your friend

Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your

friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight”

response that burst of energy will enhance your

performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top

sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use

stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when

it counts most.

7. Stress is contagious

What we mean by this is that negative people can be a

huge stressor. Negativity breeds stress and some

people know how to do nothing but complain. Now you

can look at this in one of two ways. First, they see you

as a positive, upbeat person and hope that you can

bring them back “up”. If that’s not it, then they’re just

a negative person and can’t feel better about

themselves unless those around them are negative as

well.

Don’t get caught up in their downing behavior.

Recognize that these kinds of people have their own

stress and then limit your contact with them. You can

try to play stress doctor and teach them how to better

manage their stress, but be aware that this may

contribute more to your own stress, so tread lightly.

8. Copy good stress managers

When people around are losing their head, which keeps

calm? What are they doing differently? What is their

attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained

and experienced?

Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat.

Learn from the best stress managers and copy what

they do.

9. Use heavy breathing.

You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy

breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then

breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11

breathing until your heart rate slows down, your

sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more

normal.

10.

Stop stress thought trains

It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot

all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might

happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these

things never happen, so why waste all that energy

worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop

them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong – how

likely is that and what can you do to prevent it?

11.

Know your stress hot spots and trigger points

Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving

difficult feedback, tight deadlines……. My heart rate is

cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot

spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain

audience that get you worked up? Does one project

cause more stress than another? Did you drink too

much coffee?

Knowing what causes your stress is powerful

information, as you can take action to make it less

stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you

need extra resources? Do you need to switch to de-

caffeinated coffee?

12. Eat, drink, sleep and be merry!

Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks

havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but

worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress

management technique. Listen to your mother and

don’t burn the candle at both ends!

Avoid using artificial means to dealing with your

stress. That means don’t automatically pour a glass of

wine when you think you’re getting stressed out and

don’t light up a cigarette. In actuality, alcohol,

nicotine, caffeine, and drugs can make the problem

worse. A better idea is to practice the relaxation

techniques we’ve given you. Then, once you’re

relaxed, you can have that glass of wine if you want.

13. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little

sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications

on your stress level and will enhance your entire

outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a

positive effect on everyone in your family and/ or circle

of friends; things which seem overwhelming will soon

become trivial matters, causing you to wonder what the

predicament was.

Not only will you be less stressed, you will be

healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face

whatever obstacles come your way.

14. Give yourself permission to be a 'kid' again. What

did you enjoy when you were a child? Draw; paint; be

creative. Play with Play- dough, dance, or read. Play

music, allow yourself freedom to express yourself

without worry that you're not keeping with the image of

who you are 'supposed' to be. Just relax and enjoy

yourself. We all have a little child in us and it's a good

idea to allow expression of the child within from time to

time.

If I might say so, this suggestion is excellent and

very therapeutic. I speak from experience. I can tell

you that there is nothing more satisfying than buying a

brand new box of 64 Crayons – the one with the

sharpener in the box – and coloring away in a coloring

book. My grandson loves it when I use this stress

buster!

15. Don't set unrealistic for goals for yourself. Many of

us set ourselves up for defeat simply by setting

unrealistic goals for ourselves. For example, if you are

dieting, realize you cannot lose 40 pounds in one or

two months.

Or maybe you are trying to reach a goal of

obtaining a particular job position; whatever your goal

is allow sufficient time to reach your goals and realize

occasional setbacks may occur.

If you reach your goal without any delays, you will

be even happier with yourself for arriving quicker than

you planned, but don't expect it. In fact don't expect

anything; expectations and reality are often two

entirely different things.

16. Learn it is OK to say 'no' occasionally. Often,

many of us feel we have to say 'yes' to everyone, every

time we are asked for help and feel that we must

respond in a positive fashion. But, remember, you

cannot be all things to all people. You must first meet

your own needs before you can truly give others what

they need while at the same time keeping yourself

happy.

17. You do not have to do everything your family,

friends, and others ask. Of course you can help others,

but first make sure you have done what is necessary to

take care of yourself.

18. Make time for yourself, your number one priority;

once your own needs are met you will find you have

more time for others. And you may find more pleasure

in helping others when you don't feel that you must

always put others needs before your own.

We’re not done yet! There are so many great ways to

combat stress and anxiety. You deserve to get all the

information you can. After all, that’s really why you’re

reading this book, isn’t it? Here’s some more stress busters.

WHO YA GONNA CALL? STRESS

BUSTERS!

19. I really love this thought and have used it many

times myself! Yell! That’s right, scream at the top of

your lungs – as loud as you can. While this may not be

feasible in your home, it works great when you’re in

your car with the windows rolled up. Let out a guttural

yelp from deep down inside. It’s liberating!

20. Sing. As we said in the previous chapter, music

can be extremely beneficial when getting rid of stress.

Think how much better you can feel when you belt out

“Copacabana” at the top of your lungs! Who cares if

you can’t carry a tune? You’re doing this for you!

21. Take up a new hobby like knitting or crocheting.

Don't worry about being good at it. It's the process

that's beneficial. Sitting still while performing repetitive

movements is calming and stabilizing for many people.

It can be time to collect your thoughts.

22. Start a garden. Even apartment-dwellers can do

this. Inside in pots, pots on the patio, pots, a small

spot in your yard. There is a little work to setting it up.

Tending plants, fruits, vegetables, flowers and

watching them grow, bloom, or yield food is rewarding.

Avid gardeners say working a garden is the best way to

control stress and worry. An added benefit is the

creation of a more beautiful, restful environment.

23. Play with a dog or cat. Experts say pet owners

have longer lives and fewer stress symptoms that non-

pet owners. Playing with your pet provide good

vibrations – for you and for the pet! It’s a form of

social interaction with no pressure to meet anyone’s

expectations!

24. Look at the stars and the moon. It can be a very

humbling experience to lay on a blanket with your

hands behind your head and gaze up into the night sky.

It’s more than humbling; it’s downright beautiful and

relaxing!

Just the other night, my grandson and I got a

blanket out and lay in the yard looking at the moon

going behind the clouds and gazing at the stars. He’s

only three, so it’s a fascinating experience for him, but

looking at the sky through his eyes made it even more

fascinating for me.

I could feel all my worries melting away as we

chatted about the astronauts that get to see the stars

close up and how big the universe is while we remain

so small. When you look at the vastness of the sky,

you realize that our problems are small compared to

that. I also get great comfort from seeing that one

bright star in the sky that is always above my house.

When my best friend’s mother died, we got out of

the car after coming from her visitation and my friend’s

five-year old and I stopped to star gaze. She pointed

out one particular star and said “That’s my grandma.

She’s our guardian angel now.” Every time I see that

star, I know Cheryl’s there and she’ll help get me

through anything!

25. Treat yourself to some comfort food. But be

careful or over-eating could become your big stressor.

Enjoy in moderation and make yourself feel better.

I love mashed potatoes and gravy and macaroni

and cheese. Those are my comfort foods. But I make

sure that I don’t overdo it. I give myself just enough to

bring on that calming feeling.

26. Swing. Remember the feeling of sitting inside that

little piece of leather on the playground as you sway

back and forth and feel the wind whipping through you

hair? Do that! If you don’t have a swing in your yard,

go to a playground and remember to pump your legs

back and forth to see how high you can go. It’s

liberating!

27. Take a candle lit bubble bath. Even you guys out

there can benefit from a warm bath bathed in the soft

glow of candlelight. Lay your head back, feel the

bubbles and the warm water, and let your stress go

right down the drain when you pull the plug!

Phew! There you have twenty-seven ways to relax and

de-stress! You can come up with your own ways as well!

The key, really, is to find something that makes you feel

better when you are overwhelmed and practice that method

faithfully. You’ll be a healthier person overall.

JUST SAY NO!

One huge problem people who are overly stressed out

have is the ability to say “No” when they need to. Maybe

your mother wants you to take Grandma to the store, but

you’re in the middle of a big work project. Perhaps your

best friend asks if you wouldn’t mind babysitting her kids

when you’ve already made plans with yourself to get a

haircut.

There’s no reason why you have to say “Yes” to

everyone. In fact, there are often many times when you

should turn them down. If you find yourself agreeing to do

things when you really don’t want to, you’re a people

pleaser. In general, this isn’t a bad trait to have, but it can

be a huge stressor.

People pleasers think of other people’s needs before

their own. They worry about what other people want, think,

or need, and spend a lot of time doing things for others.

They rarely do things for themselves, and feel guilty when

they do. It’s hard being a people pleaser.

People pleasers hold back from saying what they really

think or from asking for what they want if they think

someone will be upset with them for it. Yet they often spend

time with people who don’t consider their needs at all. In

fact, people pleasers often feel driven to make insensitive or

unhappy people feel better - even at the detriment to

themselves.

Constantly trying to please other people is draining and

many people pleasers feel anxious, worried, unhappy, and

tired a lot of the time. They may not understand why no one

does anything for them, when they do so much for others -

but they often won’t ask for what they need.

This is the trap I fell into. I found myself always

agreeing to do for others but when I needed those same

people to help ME out, they were curiously occupied.

A people pleaser may believe that if they ask someone

for help and that person agrees, that person would be giving

out of obligation, not because they really wanted to. The

thinking goes - if they really wanted to help, they would

have offered without my asking.

This line of thinking happens because people pleasers

themselves feel obliged to help and do not always do things

because they want to. Sadly, people pleasers have been

taught that their worth depends on doing things for other

people.

It’s painful being a people pleaser – believe me, I

know! People pleasers are not only very sensitive to other

people’s feelings, and often take things personally, but they

also rarely focus on themselves.

When they do take a moment for themselves, they feel

selfish, indulgent, and guilty which is why they are often on

the go, rushing to get things done. Because people pleasers

accomplish so much and are easy to get along with, they are

often the first to be asked to do things - they are vulnerable

to be being taken advantage of.

People pleasers were most likely raised in homes where

their needs and feelings were not valued, respected, or

considered important. They were often expected as children

to respond to or to take care of other people’s needs. Or

they may have been silenced, neglected, or otherwise

abused, thus learning that their feelings and needs were not

important.

In many cultures, girls are raised to be people pleasers

- to think of others’ needs first, and to neglect their own.

Many women have at least some degree of people pleasing

in them. Men who identified with their mothers often do as

well.

People pleasers’ focus is mostly on others and away

from themselves. They often feel empty, or don’t know how

they feel, what they think, or what they want for

themselves. But it’s possible to change this pattern and to

feel better about yourself.

I managed to learn how to break out of this cycle. You

can do the same thing if you see yourself in the above

description. You want to know how? It’s easier than you

think!

First, practice saying NO. This is a very important word!

Say it as often as you can, just to hear the word come out of

your mouth. Say it out loud when you are alone. Practice

phrases with NO in them, such as, "No, I can’t do that" or

"No, I don’t want to go there". Try it for simple things first,

and then build your way up to harder situations.

Stop saying YES all the time. Try to pause or take a

breath before responding to someone’s request. You may

want to answer requests with "I need to think about it first,

I’ll get back to you" or "Let me check my schedule and call

you back". Use any phrase that you feel comfortable with

that gives you time before you automatically respond with

YES.

Take small breaks, even if you feel guilty. You won’t

always feel guilty, but most likely in the beginning you will.

Remember that your mental health is well worth the

aggravation you may have to take from others. What’s

important is you. When you are healthy, those around you

will be healthy!

Figure out what gives you pleasure. For example, you

may like reading magazines, watching videos, going to a

park, or listening to music. Give yourself permission to do

those things and then enjoy them.

Ask someone to help you with something. I know this is

a hard one but you can do it! After all, everyone else is

asking YOU for favors, why shouldn’t YOU ask THEM? Just

be tolerant if they turn you down. Just because you have

always told them “Yes” doesn’t mean they always have to

tell you “Yes”.

Check in with how you feel and what you are thinking.

It’s important to be aware of these things; they’re part of

who you are. And then try saying what you feel and think

more often. Just remember to have a little decorum in

certain situations.

Many people pleasers believe that nobody will like them

if they stop doing things for other people. If someone stops

liking you because you don’t do what they ask, then you’re

being used by them and probably don’t want them as a

friend anyway.

People will like you for who you are and not simply for

what you do. You deserve to take time to yourself, to say

NO, and to take care of yourself without feeling guilty. It’s

within your reach to change - one small step at a time!

I think most people would be in complete agreement

when I make this next statement. McDonald’s had it right –

You Deserve A Break Today!

TAKE A BREAK

So often, we know inside ourselves that we need a

break. That break might be a full-fledged vacation or a

weekend getaway. Either way, getting out of the daily grind

can be amazingly liberating and a huge way to get rid of

stress and anxiety.

Unfortunately, many people think they can’t take the

time to get away. This is toxic thinking. Get out and get

away!

How many times have you continued working, knowing

that you are not giving 100% to the task at hand? How

many times have you read or written the same sentence

over and over again, as your mind keeps wandering and

thinking about other things? How often have you wanted to

take a break from the family or kids but feared the

consequences of doing so? It’s time for a break!

Why do we not allow ourselves the time to take a ‘time

out’? Perhaps we feel like we don’t deserve it or that there’s

just too much to be done. There are many genuine reasons

for needing to complete jobs and tasks; however we may

also on occasion have ‘hidden agendas’ as to why we cannot

stop for a break. Why?

It could be ego. Some people simply enjoy boasting

about, ‘how late they had to work in order to complete a

project’ or ‘how much effort they invested in order to

complete the job so quickly’. This type of person is often

looking to impress others with their efforts, thereby

increasing their ego in the process.

Maybe you think you just can’t take the time off. "I

can’t stop; I just have to get this finished". Does this sound

familiar? "I can’t stop because the job has to be finished,

WHY? So I can move straight on to the next thing, and the

next, and the next etc…" This person will find that there is

always something that has to be done, which will constantly

prevent him/her from taking a break.

Maybe you just feel like you need to be needed. A

mother managing the household, kids and other chores may

feel as if her household will collapse if she were to put her

feet up or take a weekend off! By not taking a break she can

keep convincing herself that her role is crucial and the family

would collapse without her input. This may indeed be true,

but is still not a good enough reason to prevent her having a

rest!

Get rid of that thinking! You can get some amazing

benefits just by taking a little time for yourself! Allowing

your mind and/or body to rest can help re-focus your

attention, sharpen your wits and increase motivation. In

addition, taking time out helps to relieve stress, can aid the

recovery of tired muscles and also promotes the discovery

that there is more to life than just work.

Many athletes will tell you that an important part of

their training routine is rest. Muscles need time to repair

after a workout. Remember that your brain is a type of

muscle as well. It needs time to rest and recuperate in

order to perform at its best. By giving your brain time off,

you’ll be able to better concentrate and give tasks you once

found difficult your full attention. They’ll be easier, believe

me!

So you’ve decided that a break is in order. Good for

you! A break can be anything from a 10-minute meditation

session to a trip around the world, and anything in-between.

I think a break should be something that takes your mind off

of a preoccupation with the everyday tedium of life.

So depending on the time you wish to avail towards

relaxing you may enjoy reading, watching a movie, cooking,

playing with the kids, riding a motorbike or driving,

exercising or doing sports, traveling or simply sleeping!

While you are taking this rest, above all, allow yourself

the time to do it and don’t feel guilty about. You will gain so

very much by this time off, so enjoy the time you are giving

yourself.

Life will go on without you and contrary to what your

mind might be telling you, everyone will survive – even

when you’re not there! Let everything go and concentrate

on YOU for once instead of everyone around you!

If you’re feeling tired, unmotivated or just in need of a

rest, don’t be a martyr or look negatively at this. You may

actually find that in reality, allowing yourself a break will

actually help you ultimately become more efficient and

effective in every part of your life. Plus you’ll get the badly

needed recharging of your “batteries” that you need and

sorely deserve!

Work can probably be one of the most stressful places

to be. You might think that none of these techniques can

help you when you’re around your co-workers. You couldn’t

be more wrong.

RELAXING AT WORK

Coffee breaks aren’t the only times when you can take

a moment for yourself. Experience has actually taught me

that coffee (or smoke) breaks can actually add to the stress

you feel when you’re at work.

Some of the suggestions we’ve given you in this book

can certainly be practiced at work, but, unfortunately, others

cannot. Here’s a tried and true method to help you relax at

work.

First and foremost, find a place to sit. Sit up straight

with your back against the back of your chair, your feet flat

on the floor, and your hands resting lightly on your thighs.

If possible, close your eyes. You may do the exercise

without closing your eyes, but closing your eyes will help

you relax a bit more. Do not clench your eyes shut. Let your

eyelids fall naturally.

Breathe in slowly through your nose, counting to 5.

Hold the breath for a count of 5. Breathe out slowly,

counting to five. Repeat.

This exercise is performed by tensing and holding a set

of muscles for a count of 5, and then relaxing the set of

muscles for a count of 5.

When you tense each muscle set, do it as hard as you

can without hurting yourself. When you release the hold, be

as relaxed as possible.

Begin by tensing your feet. Do this by pulling your feet

off the floor and your toes toward you while keeping your

heels on the floor. Hold for a slow count of 5. Release the

hold. Let your feet fall gently back. Feel the relaxation. Think

about how it feels compared to when you tensed the

muscles. Relax for a count of 5.

Next tense your thigh muscles as hard as you can. Hold

for a count of 5. Relax the muscles and count to 5.

Tighten your abdominal muscles and hold for a count of

5. Relax the muscles for a count of 5. Be sure you are

continuing to sit up straight.

Tense your arm and hand muscles by squeezing your

hands into fists as hard as you can. Hold for a count of 5.

Relax the muscles completely for a count of 5.

Tighten your upper back by pushing your shoulders

back as if you are trying to touch your shoulder blades

together. Hold for a count of 5. Relax for a count of 5.

Tense your shoulders by raising them toward your ears

as if shrugging and holding for a count of 5. Relax for a

count of 5.

Tighten your neck first by gently moving your head

back (as if looking at the ceiling) and holding for 5. Relax for

5. Then gently drop your head forward and hold for 5. Relax

for a count of 5.

Tighten your face muscles. First open your mouth wide

and hold for 5. Relax for 5. Then raise your eye brows up

high and hold for 5. Relax for 5. Finally clench your eyes

tightly shut and hold for 5. Relax (with eyes gently closed)

for 5.

Finish the exercise with breathing. Breathe in slowly

through your nose, counting to 5. Hold the breath for a

count of 5. Breathe out slowly, counting to five. Repeat 4

times. And that’s it!

Perform this exercise whenever you need to relax,

whether it's on a plane or in a car or anyplace else you may

be sitting. Because this exercise may be very relaxing, it

should not be performed while driving.

Over time, if performed regularly, this exercise will help

you recognize tension in your body. You will be able to relax

muscles at any time rather than performing the entire

exercise. Perform at least twice a day for long-term results.

You may develop your own longer relaxation exercise

by adding more muscle groups. Pinpoint your own areas of

tension then tense and relax these areas in the same way.

Maximize the relaxation benefits of this exercise by

visualizing a peaceful scene at the end of the exercise.

Visualize a scene - a place where you feel relaxed - in detail

for at least 5 minutes. Remember the happy place? Go

there and enjoy it!

CONCLUSION

If you’ve learned nothing from reading this book, we

hope you realize and understand that there is NO WAY to

completely eliminate stress from your life. What you can do

is to learn how to make that stress work FOR you.

Stress management isn’t as difficult as it might actually

seem. However, we can’t emphasize this next point enough.

If you think you have too much stress in your life, it may be

helpful to talk with your doctor, spiritual advisor, or local

mental health association. Because reactions to stress can

be a factor in depression, anxiety and other disorders, they

may suggest that you visit with a psychiatrist, psychologist,

social worker, or other qualified counselor.

We don’t want to present ourselves as medical

professionals. All we want to do is give you some tools to

implement in your life to help you better cope with those

things that make us overwhelmed and feel out of control.

You may also want to look into time management tools

in order to get rid of some of your stressors. When we feel

like we don’t have enough time to do the things that need to

be done, that creates more stress and can lead to anxiety

which, believe me, you don’t want to have!

Stress management tips are simple cost effective

methods to effectively check stress. They can be practiced

anywhere and at anytime. Well, almost!

If you feel you are in need of help, do not hesitate. You

might not be correct always. The cause of your stress might

be for no reason at all. But it might be physical in its roots.

Someone else might be able to solve it easily. Understand

your limitations and it can relieve stress to a large extent.

Stress is a normal part of life. In small quantities,

stress is good -- it can motivate you and help you be more

productive. However, too much stress, or a strong response

to stress, is harmful.

It can set you up for general poor health as well as

specific physical or psychological illnesses like infection,

heart disease, or depression. Persistent and unrelenting

stress often leads to anxiety and unhealthy behaviors like

overeating and abuse of alcohol or drugs.

Just like causes of stress differ from person to person,

what relieves stress is not the same for everyone. In

general, however, making certain lifestyle changes as well

as finding healthy, enjoyable ways to cope with stress helps

most people. I hope that I’ve given you some great ways of

dealing with the stress that we all feel!

Above all, remember that you are in no way alone in

this battle. There are hundreds of thousands of people out

there who feel overwhelmed and nearly completely out of

control. That’s why we wanted to give you this book. So

you can find peace within yourself and realize that we’re all

on this big blue marble for a reason.

You are too! Enjoy it and live life to its fullest. And

when you feel yourself stressed out or beset with a panic

attack, relax, breathe through it, and know that there are

many, many people who know exactly how you feel.

I like Bobby McFarrin’s philosophy best of all – “Don’t

Worry, Be Happy!”

The following websites were referenced in researching this book: